Relaxation Seeds
23 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
in Family Relaxation Tags: relaxation; tools; reminders; intention; peace; stress
Chances are, if you are reading this, you have experience with a child who struggles with stress, anxiety, or other strong emotions. And, if you are like me, then there are times when you fervently wish that you had a magic wand that would create peace wherever pointed.
I am writing this to remind you and to remind me that we are gardeners in this field of relaxation techniques. We cultivate the ground, fertilize the soil, plant seeds of relaxation and water them with care. But, we never truly know when they will sprout and grow. Our job as the gardener does not involve digging in the soil to check on the seeds. Our job is to plant the seeds and to let go with patience and love. End of story. Period. No amount of magic wand waving or wishing will change the fact that the relaxation seeds sprout when they are ready, just like all other seeds.
My daughter has been challenged this week with stressful thoughts about eighth grade homework. As she was becoming more and more frustrated, more and more stressed out, her tears and thoughts appeared to cycle around and around, getting stuck on “I don’t have enough time to get it done. I never have downtime with you on school nights. I can’t have fun anymore. There is too much work.” She was working herself into a stressful cycle that began to infiltrate both ends of the day, bedtime and waking.
I suggested techniques, I modeled techniques, did what I could to promote a peaceful environment, and tried all the distraction tools I could think of. Nothing appeared to be working. I played music in the bathroom in the morning, even Katy Perry, who is not my first choice of the day, and nothing seemed to shift the focus from STRESS. I was getting frustrated too.
Then, one night, after several nights in the cycle, seemingly out of the blue, my daughter made a request before bed. She said, “Hey, you know that Katy Perry song about money? Could you play it tomorrow while I am in the shower? It is one of my favorites.” “Of course,” I replied. Then it struck me. I never know for sure the impact that my “seeds” are having. I don’t know which things will touch her, if they will touch her, or when. I don’t know when the relaxation seeds will sprout or how they will actually grow.
Each moment provides us that opportunity to return and return again to our intentions and alignment with out desired outcome, regardless of what is actually going on around us. Each moment brings the opportunity to be a space of peace, to be open to expanding into the present moment. Showing up is the first step. Continuing to show up is the second step and all the steps that follow.
You never now when your relaxation seeds will suddenly sprout and grow into beautiful peaceful moments. Keep planting. Keep growing within yourself. And have fun doing it!!!
Ocean Breathing–One Minute Relaxer
21 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
in All Relaxation Activities, Deep Breathing, One Minute Relaxers
Have some fun with deep breathing today and teach your child ocean breathing, otherwise known as ujjai pranayama in the yogic traditions. It is known as the ocean breath because of the ocean-like sound made in the back of the throat while breathing in and out. It helps your child to slow down the airflow, allowing for longer, deeper, slower breaths. This in turn, gives the body a chance to use more oxygen since the breath is slowed.
Call this practice ocean breathing to give it a fun image while trying it out. It is a centering breath because it provides a focal point. Your child’s focus is reigned in as she concentrates on the sound emanating from the back of her throat. It is the perfect one-minute relaxer that can be done anywhere.
Explanation Ideas and Steps:
(Suggested supply: hand held mirror)
First, explain to your child that you are going breathe making the sound of the ocean. Invite her to think about the ocean while you are practicing. Start with a little visualization. Take a moment to close your eyes and see the waves crashing on the shore, listen to the sound of the surf upon the sand.
- Start by holding the hand held mirror in front of you, (or hold your hand up, palm facing inward, holding a pretend mirror if you don’t have a real one). Take a full breath in, breathing slowly and allowing the stomach to expand while you inhale. Then exhale, forcing the air out like you are trying to fog up the mirror. Allow the back of your throat to constrict, just slightly to make the “haaaah” sound while exhaling. It might sound a bit like hissing. No need to push or force, just allow. It should be very soothing, sounding like the roar of the waves upon the sand. Repeat this practice several times.
- Once your child understands how to make the sound through her mouth, she is ready to try it while inhaling and exhaling through the nose. Inhale through the nose, gently constricting the throat and passage of air. Pause. Exhale, gently constricting the throat and pushing the air back out. Pause.
- Remember to exhale as long as possible and pause slightly after the exhale if possible. This allows for ultimate relaxation within the body.
After you have learned the breath, you might want to play some ocean sounds on your ipod/iphone while you are doing it, (See Nature: At the Beach on the downloadable free mobile app Relaxation Lite, Silent Island, http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/silent-island-relaxation-lite/id299531614?mt=8).
Guided Imagery Resources
19 Feb 2012 3 Comments
in Educator Resources, Parenting Resources, Resources Tags: amazon, charlotte reznick, guided imagery scripts
Looking for some fun guided imagery tools to share with your child? This is the book for you: The Power of Your Child’s Imagination by Charlotte Reznick, Ph.D. Dr. Reznick, www.imageryforkids.com, shares nine essential tools that parents and educators can use to support children in applying guided imagery to heal stress and/or strong emotions and to support healing and health, emotionally, physically, and psychologically. She has presented the tools in a clear, easy to apply manner. The tools are developmentally sensitive to a child’s growth and understanding and are fun and engaging.
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=The+Power+of+Your+Child%27s+Imagination&x=0&y=0
Another book that I love is Guided Imagery for Healing Children and Teens by Ellen Curran. She does an excellent job at explaining the various stages of the guided imagery process and the science behind why it works. Her guided imagery scripts are easy to read and are divided between younger children and those for teens. The scripts are specifically oriented toward supporting children with a physical health concern, but could be easily adapted for other uses. Next time you want to support your child who isn’t feeling well, try out this book to support him in relaxation while he heals.
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Guided+imagery+for+Healing+Children+and+teens&x=0&y=0
Mind Pirates! Make Them Walk the Plank!
16 Feb 2012 1 Comment
Thoughts that hijack your day and contribute to feelings of stress and un-ease, are what my kids, my students and I call Mind Pirates. Some days there are many mind pirates setting sail on the seas of our mind, making stormy and uncomfortable feelings as a result. Mind pirates are synonymous with negative thought patterns. Our thoughts directly influence how we feel. When you or your child is feeling stressed, it helps to pause for a moment to take inventory of the thoughts that are whirling around in your mind. Stressful feelings come from stressful thoughts. So if we want to feel peaceful, then we have to think peacefully. I have been working on mind pirates in the school setting, however you can apply this to home
This week at school we have been working with our Mind Pirates. I explain that a pirate is someone who steals something, usually something valuable like treasure. So Mind Pirates are thoughts that steal away your readiness to learn or your ability to feel good in the moment. When you are thinking many mind pirates, then you are feeling stressed, distracted, unfocused and or uncertain about learning. What can we do about it? We can get your mind pirates to walk the plank! Here’s how to do it:
Step One: Identify The Mind Pirates
- Quiet your mind by closing your eyes and taking two long, slow deep breaths.
- Next, think about a time you were struggling in the classroom, when you were not feeling good about your schoolwork. Tell me about it. What was going on around you? (Pause) What were you thinking in that moment? What thoughts bother you in class? What thoughts steal your attention away from your work? Those are your mind pirate thoughts.
- Write down those thoughts next to the pirate on the paper.
Step Two: Mind Pirates Walk the Plank
- Focus on the thoughts you wrote down and turn them around to be treasure thoughts. Treasure thoughts are thoughts that help you learn, and help you to feel good about yourself as a student. You have the power to make mind pirates walk the plank as you transform them into treasure thoughts. For example, the mind pirate “I can’t do this, it is too hard,” can walk the plank and turn into “Even though this is hard, I try my best and take my time.” Think about what you want to think, feel or do in the classroom and write it down next to the plank.
- Spend some time writing treasure thoughts for the classroom. Focus on what you do well, what you are good at, what is easy for you. The more treasure thoughts you think, the better you feel and the more ready you are for learning.
Step Three: Practice a Relaxation Technique
To keep those treasure thoughts going and to enhance feelings of relaxation in the classroom, finish this work by practicing a relaxation technique. We chose the sea turtle, http://wp.me/p11MDD-8K, but you can supplement with any that fits your child and/or your classroom.
Relaxation Practice Log
04 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
Rehearsal is key to mastery. The more we practice something, the more it becomes an integral part of life. If you and your child have the goal of feeling more relaxed and calm, then practice is your key to adopting relaxation practice and feelings as automatic response patterns in life. With our busy schedules, it is often challenging to add anything more, especially when the practice may or may not be out of the comfort zone. If your and your child’s life has been on running on high, then slowing down might not feel so comfortable when you first get started. Practice is your key. One way to begin integrating the daily practice of relaxation techniques into your life, is to make a Relaxation Practice Log. This log can serve as your checklist to make sure that daily attention and focus are directed at your goal of feeling more relaxed. It can also serve as a record and cause for celebration after a week of practiced relaxation activities. I have included a downloadable pdf here to get you started. It contains activities from this site, but feel free to create your own log, including your favorite relaxation techniques. Happy relaxation practice!!!!!
Five Ideas For Creating Peaceful Mornings Before School
02 Feb 2012 6 Comments
How the morning flows has great impact on the rest of the day. When we are able to create peaceful, graceful mornings, we are better able to create peaceful fulfilling days, or at least better adept to weather any stress that might appear in the day ahead. The more peaceful the time at home, the better prepared the child is for learning at school. Here are some ideas to consider as you begin your day:
1. Set the Stage
Create a relaxing environment for the morning routine. Keep the lights low, sounds to a minimum. Play music that you love. I play energizing, dance music in the bathroom while my daughters and I shower and get ready. We sing and jive, getting a jump start on feeling good. However, I like to wake up to gentle, relaxing music, easing my way into the day with quiet time. I have downloaded some of my favorite meditation music on my iphone and play it while I am waking up and waking up my daughters.
2. Gentle Beginnings
Wake up your child with a soft greeting such as “Good morning, love.” Give a back rub or a gentle massage or snuggle for one minute with your child before getting out of bed. Remember to note how your child likes to wake up. You can ask him if he would like to snuggle or not. Start the day with gentle choices. Pay attention to your voice volume and rhythm.
3. Even Pace
Avoiding the morning rush is key to staying calm and promoting feelings of peace. Make sure any advance preparation, such as laying out of clothes or packing lunches, happens the night before to avoid rush during the basic morning routine.
I have a friend, a single dad, who was having trouble getting his boys to stay on task while getting ready for school. He noticed that he was repeating over and over what they needed to do and that somehow they had learned to tune him out. We developed a checklist of morning routine activity steps and engaged the boys in picking a fun ringtone on the phone to signal the end of basic tasks. There was a duck quack for the end of teeth brushing, a chime for the completion of getting dressed, a horn honking for time to get in the car. That way both my friend and his boys didn’t have the stress of his repetitive reminders to stay on task and the boys felt a sense of relaxing into self-direction and knowing clear expectations regarding time.
4. Basic Needs
Getting those basic needs of affection and nutrition met are essential ingredients for the creation of peaceful mornings. Find ways to squeeze in a hug or two as you are getting ready for school. If your child is open to it, particularly for younger children, hold hands on the way to the car or into the school. Remember that touch can be very relaxing when it honors and considers how the recipient wants to receive it. Ask first, but offer moments for hugs, cuddling, and pausing to connect with your child, listening and tuning into the present moment. Make sure there is adequate time to spend on breakfast. Schedule time to sit down and finish the meal. When our basic needs are met, we feel relaxed and at ease. Pay attention to what those needs are for your child, meet those needs, and notice how her body and mind relaxes as a result.
5. Set Your Mind To It
Adding two minutes to the morning to talk with your child about how he or she thinks about the day ahead makes all the difference in how the day will unfold. Take two minutes to create a vision of the day. Ask your child what he or she wants to experience, wants to happen. State it in present tense and in the affirmative. For example, I am feeling calm and relaxed as I take my spelling test. I remember just what I need to know. I stay focused during class and remember to take a mental break when I need to. I have fun playing tetherball with my friends at recess. Notice that it is stated in the present tense and explains the parts of her day as she wishes them to happen, stating them as if they are happening in that way.
Sing a couple of affirmations in the car on the way to school or daycare. Have fun making up a fun or crazy tune to the words “I am beautiful and I am a wonderful friend.” “I am strong and full of courage.”
Have a beautiful peaceful day!!!
The Melt Away
29 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in All Relaxation Activities, One Minute Relaxers Tags: letting go of stress, relaxation tools, stress relief, tension relief
Tension can just melt away through the focus of our thoughts. The Melt Away is a visualization that can help kids release muscle tension and relax in the moment. It’s a quick tool that can be used anywhere to help kids get re-connected with their bodies to feel more relaxed.
Here are the instructions to read to your child:
1. Close your eyes and breathe deeply. Take two deep breaths, inhaling to the count of 5, exhaling to the count of 5. Pause
2. Now begin with your toes. Imagine that a big sun is shining over your toes, melting away any tension. Allow the tension to melt and sink into the floor, just like melting snow or melting butter. Feel how warm and relaxed your toes feel. Just allow yourself to relax in the light. Breathe.
3. Repeat the visualization by reading step two over and over while focusing on each body part: legs, arms, hands, shoulders, back, neck and head. Keep going until you have addressed every body part.
4. Completion: Now that you have melted away any tension or tight places in your body, just allow your whole body to melt into the floor. Feel the floor beneath you holding you. Imagine that the big sun above you is shining a brilliant golden light over all of your body and allow that warm light to touch every part of your body. Breathe. Pause to allow your child to rest in the calm moment. Now gently begin to rock you body back and forth. Really small mini movement. Wiggle your toes and your fingers. Take a deep breath and get ready to open your eyes. Place your hands gently over your eyes. You can open your eyes when you are ready and allow your hands to drop away.
This tool is particularly useful if you have one particular body part that is feeling tense and needs to relax. For example, for headaches, you might want to use The Melt Away to focus on relaxing the neck and face muscles. 
I See You, I Hear You, I Love You
22 Jan 2012 1 Comment
Never underestimate the relaxing power of sending this message to your child: I see you, I hear you, I love you. Connection is a cornerstone of relaxation. When we feel connected and loved, our bodies and minds naturally relax and it is much easier to let go of worry, tension and angst. This message can be communicated through the eyes, through touch, and through mindful activity. Here are some ideas for practicing this powerful message:
Eyes– Pause for a moment through out the day and gaze with love while looking at your child. Set the intention to sense beyond any behavior or activity that is going on and really see him for who he is. Notice the beautiful, innocence of his being. It might help to think back to the day he was born and connect with the beautiful baby that he was. If you are having a challenging moment, think of a previous time of connection and feel into that love you felt in that moment. Imagine that love is pouring out of your eyes toward your child. Smile with your eyes. Send the message of total acceptance in the moment, regardless of external circumstances. He will feel the energy and it will register even if it is not immediately apparent.
Touch–Give your child a simple back massage, foot massage or arm/hand massage. Simply taking your child’s hand during the day and pausing for a moment to hold it. Gently tug each finger and massage the palm of the hand, focusing on the crease of the palm that runs from the index finger past the thumb to the base of the palm. Combine it with the eye activity for a wonderful moment of connection.
Mindful Activity–Find an activity in which you and your child are able to connect. It can be a board game, an art activity, reading a book together, walking in nature, cleaning the kitchen sink, but something in which you are genuinely interacting with your child. Try to avoid any electronics for this activity. While you are participating with your child, really pull your focus into the moment and place all of your attention on your child and what you are completing together. Send the message “I hear you” by paraphrasing back to him what you hear him saying. Remember that the message of “I hear you” is best communicate by repetition than by trying to offer a solution or judging what he is saying (i.e. saying it is good or bad). Activate that space of total acceptance and watch the potential impact it has to relax you and your child.
These messages of I see you, I hear you and I love you, have the power to calm the central nervous system. The more you really connect and practice total acceptance, the more both you and your child will feel peace and a sense of calm.
Body Rock
30 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
in All Relaxation Activities, Bedtime Relaxation Activities, Family Relaxation, One Minute Relaxers, Relaxing/Balancing the Body, Uncategorized
Body rock involves gently rocking the body back and forth to calm the nervous system. Have your child lie flat on the floor. Use a yoga mat or lie on a soft carpet for increased comfort. Don’t use a pillow to obstruct air flow or to place the neck in an unnatural position. Play soft music, dim the lights and use aromatherapy to prepare the environment for relaxation. Begin by inviting your child to take a couple of deep breaths. Tell your child to simply allow his body to melt into the floor and prepare him that you are going to gently rock his body back and forth to calm down his muscles and nerves. Share with him that the more he can be like a rag doll and let go, allow his body to relax, the more powerful body rock will be. Then gently begin to lightly rock his body back and forth, alternating sides. First give a gentle push on the left and respond with a gentle push on the right. Use very gentle touch, as light as using one finger to move. Apply a relaxed, gentle, steady rhythm. Imagine that your hands are carrying on a very sweet relaxation conversation. As one hand moves on one side, the other gently responds. Allow the body weight to help carry the momentum of the rock back and forth. Move slowly up and down the legs and then to the torso, gently pushing on each arm. Allow the head to remain relaxed and lying on the floor. Be as gentle as possible, and increase in lightness of touch as you continue. As time passes, you will notice the body begin to let go and relax more and more, as evidenced by its effortless motions. Simply allow it to rock, back and forth, back and forth. Check in with your child to make sure he is doing okay or to ask if he needs anything. Complete this for a couple minutes the first time and begin to increase the amount of time spent rocking as your child adjusts to it. Place a blanket over your child for added security and warmth to support further relaxation. He might fall asleep, this is a natural response. If not, allow him to rest in silence for a few minutes when you are finished to allow him to integrate the experience and to become fully aware of the relaxed sensations.
At a later time, discuss with your child how his body felt before, during and after the body rock experience.
Calm Space Detective
28 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
Sometimes the world seems to move very fast! Our children’s senses are inundated with stimuli. This can cause increased anxiety and stressful feelings or tension. I have helped many children to begin to shift their focus from the bustling events around them to noticing calm spaces by becoming a “Calm Space Detective.” Discuss with your child today how you are going to search all day long for clues to find spaces that are calm. Have a conversation about what a calm space might look like, sound or feel like. Give them some examples. Pause for a moment and look around the room and see where there are spaces of calm. Ask your child questions. Is the TV show airing in the corner a calm space? If not, then where is? Is the corner of the couch where pillows are piled a calm space? Is your bedroom a calm space? Is the line at the grocery store a calm space? Is riding in the car to your music lesson a calm space? How about the blade of grass over there? Is that a calm space?
Make it fun! Give your child a special notebook to record calm space tally marks when calm spaces are noticed. Invite your child to count the calm spaces as he notices them. He might prefer to draw them instead. See how many calm spaces you can find in 10 minutes, or during a special time of day such as dinner preparation or before bedtime. Record the clues that suggest that denote a calm space, (for example, perhaps it is quiet there, sounds like silence, it is easy to focus there, it feels peaceful or there isn’t any movement/activity, etc. . .). Tell your child that he/she can make a report at the end of the day to the Chief of Calm at the Calm station. I like to use a hand-held recorder in order to interview the “Calm Space Detective” formally as if he or she were making a final report on their daily investigation. Make a “Calm Space Detective” badge or wear a special “Calm Space Detective” hat. Have fun and be creative.
By noticing where calm spaces exist, your child will begin to differentiate the difference between calm/peaceful/relaxed feelings and locations and busyness/tension/distractions. This is a fundamental awareness skill in developing the ability to relax the body and mind. In addition, studies have shown that by simply focusing our attention on calm places, our bodies begin to experience feelings of calm and relaxation. People can experience increased feelings of calm and relaxation simply by watching calm and/or relaxed people, events or places.
Additional ideas: cut out pictures of calm places from magazines and glue them in the special notebook, look at nature books together, listen to calming music, create a special calm space of the day and practice a relaxation activity there, share your detective report with the whole family and discuss the favorite “calm space” of the day or a special “calm space” you would like to create.
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