Relaxation Seeds
23 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
in Family Relaxation Tags: relaxation; tools; reminders; intention; peace; stress
Chances are, if you are reading this, you have experience with a child who struggles with stress, anxiety, or other strong emotions. And, if you are like me, then there are times when you fervently wish that you had a magic wand that would create peace wherever pointed.
I am writing this to remind you and to remind me that we are gardeners in this field of relaxation techniques. We cultivate the ground, fertilize the soil, plant seeds of relaxation and water them with care. But, we never truly know when they will sprout and grow. Our job as the gardener does not involve digging in the soil to check on the seeds. Our job is to plant the seeds and to let go with patience and love. End of story. Period. No amount of magic wand waving or wishing will change the fact that the relaxation seeds sprout when they are ready, just like all other seeds.
My daughter has been challenged this week with stressful thoughts about eighth grade homework. As she was becoming more and more frustrated, more and more stressed out, her tears and thoughts appeared to cycle around and around, getting stuck on “I don’t have enough time to get it done. I never have downtime with you on school nights. I can’t have fun anymore. There is too much work.” She was working herself into a stressful cycle that began to infiltrate both ends of the day, bedtime and waking.
I suggested techniques, I modeled techniques, did what I could to promote a peaceful environment, and tried all the distraction tools I could think of. Nothing appeared to be working. I played music in the bathroom in the morning, even Katy Perry, who is not my first choice of the day, and nothing seemed to shift the focus from STRESS. I was getting frustrated too.
Then, one night, after several nights in the cycle, seemingly out of the blue, my daughter made a request before bed. She said, “Hey, you know that Katy Perry song about money? Could you play it tomorrow while I am in the shower? It is one of my favorites.” “Of course,” I replied. Then it struck me. I never know for sure the impact that my “seeds” are having. I don’t know which things will touch her, if they will touch her, or when. I don’t know when the relaxation seeds will sprout or how they will actually grow.
Each moment provides us that opportunity to return and return again to our intentions and alignment with out desired outcome, regardless of what is actually going on around us. Each moment brings the opportunity to be a space of peace, to be open to expanding into the present moment. Showing up is the first step. Continuing to show up is the second step and all the steps that follow.
You never now when your relaxation seeds will suddenly sprout and grow into beautiful peaceful moments. Keep planting. Keep growing within yourself. And have fun doing it!!!
Body Rock
30 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
in All Relaxation Activities, Bedtime Relaxation Activities, Family Relaxation, One Minute Relaxers, Relaxing/Balancing the Body, Uncategorized
Body rock involves gently rocking the body back and forth to calm the nervous system. Have your child lie flat on the floor. Use a yoga mat or lie on a soft carpet for increased comfort. Don’t use a pillow to obstruct air flow or to place the neck in an unnatural position. Play soft music, dim the lights and use aromatherapy to prepare the environment for relaxation. Begin by inviting your child to take a couple of deep breaths. Tell your child to simply allow his body to melt into the floor and prepare him that you are going to gently rock his body back and forth to calm down his muscles and nerves. Share with him that the more he can be like a rag doll and let go, allow his body to relax, the more powerful body rock will be. Then gently begin to lightly rock his body back and forth, alternating sides. First give a gentle push on the left and respond with a gentle push on the right. Use very gentle touch, as light as using one finger to move. Apply a relaxed, gentle, steady rhythm. Imagine that your hands are carrying on a very sweet relaxation conversation. As one hand moves on one side, the other gently responds. Allow the body weight to help carry the momentum of the rock back and forth. Move slowly up and down the legs and then to the torso, gently pushing on each arm. Allow the head to remain relaxed and lying on the floor. Be as gentle as possible, and increase in lightness of touch as you continue. As time passes, you will notice the body begin to let go and relax more and more, as evidenced by its effortless motions. Simply allow it to rock, back and forth, back and forth. Check in with your child to make sure he is doing okay or to ask if he needs anything. Complete this for a couple minutes the first time and begin to increase the amount of time spent rocking as your child adjusts to it. Place a blanket over your child for added security and warmth to support further relaxation. He might fall asleep, this is a natural response. If not, allow him to rest in silence for a few minutes when you are finished to allow him to integrate the experience and to become fully aware of the relaxed sensations.
At a later time, discuss with your child how his body felt before, during and after the body rock experience.
Cave Time
16 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
in All Relaxation Activities, Family Relaxation, Uncategorized
Remember when you were a kid how fun it was to build a fort? I have had a fort in my living room since last weekend’s sleep over. ”It’s so much fun, Mom! Can’t I just sleep in here one more night? Then I will move it, I promise!”, my nine-year-old daughter reassures me. And, even though my living room has been taken over by millions of stuffed animals and there is a sheet suspended from the banisters using headbands, scarves, hair ties, duct tape, and my brand new sheets as building materials, I have to admit it is cozy and relaxing. Since its construction, she sleeps there. She reads there. She creates art there. She relaxes there.
When kids, or adults too, are feeling stressed, often the mind is busy at work. It is working overtime and lots of thinking often doesn’t promote feelings of relaxation or peace. During times of stress our focus gets distracted and our energy is very scattered. It is useful to find ways to bring our focus inward and to call our energy back to ourselves. One way to accomplish this is by getting into smaller, enclosed spaces where the focus and energy are more easily contained. Indoor forts or caves can do just that. It is very relaxing to contain our energy in cozy, defined places.
So, I encourage you to construct your very own cave or fort for relaxing. As you head into the holiday season this year, find a cozy space in your house and construct your relaxation cave. Put it on your holiday “to do” list to design some stress-free spaces in your home specifically for relaxation. Purposefully design your relaxation space with close quarters so that you amplify the cozy factor. It can be as easy or complex as you and your child decide to make it. Simple includes throwing a blanket over a table. Complex requires some additional architectural trial and error. Both can be very rewarding.
Once you have your relaxation cave built, put some fluffy pillows, stuffed animals, soft blankets inside. Hang some pretty stars from the top and lie down on your back with your child and just breathe. Do some simple counting breaths where you count to five on the inhale and count to five on the exhale. Set aside some moments to just breathe and let the world outside the cave simply pass on by for a few minutes. Melt into the blankets. Let go. Fully surrender into the moment and allow yourself to pay attention to the feelings that arise while you are simply lying there. It can serve as your “do nothing” space or it can serve as your space where you only practice relaxing activities. Read gentle stories with sweet themes. Tell a bedtime story, but make sure that the theme is gentle and soothing. Designate it as a place where only soft voices, whispers or silence can visit. Do some gentle stretches such as child’s pose (http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/475), or butterfly pose (http://www.americanyogaacademy.com/PDFs/ButterflyPose.pdf).
So, after you have established your relaxation cave, practice using it when tension arrives. When you see your child struggling to manage her energy or feeling visibly tense, suggest a little cave time and crawl in along side her.
Let your imagination run wild in the creation of your family cave. If you are looking for some additional ideas, here’s a site I found that has stellar ideas:
http://wondertime.go.com/life-at-home/article/indoor-kid-forts.html
Thank you Relaxation!
21 Jun 2011 Leave a Comment
in All Relaxation Activities, Family Relaxation, Uncategorized
While in the book store yesterday, I came across a new little book by Leah Dieterich called ThxThxThx (http://thxthxthx.com/). In the book she writes thank you notes to just about everything you could think of. Many of her themes are adult related, but while reading her gratitude, I got to thinking. What if, as a family, you facilitated creating your relaxation atmosphere and emphasizing your intention to relaxation practice, by writing little notes of gratitude to anything related to your relaxation experience that occurs throughout the day? I believe strongly that what we focus on expands in our awareness. Therefore, why not find a fun, playful way to focus on all of the ways your relaxed today? Most likely the more you focus on what is going well in your relaxation practice and draw attention to how many ways you are relaxing, the more relaxed you will feel. While you are writing to your relaxing thoughts, relaxing moments, relaxing deep breaths, relaxing stretches, etc. . . . It would also prime the brain for more relaxation since you are drawing attention to and rehearsing all the ways you currently bring relaxation practice into your daily life.
Here is an example thank-you note:
Dear Relaxing Thought,
Thank you so much for being in my mind while I was doing my homework. It is so much easier to concentrate and my body feels so wonderful and calm when you are in my mind.
Love, Z
Some other ideas to write to and acknowledge include:
yoga stretch, yoga teacher, positive thought, deep breath, a pause to smile, a mindful moment, a time when you slowed down your pace to feel and BE, a relaxation script activity, a moment while coloring a picture. The possibilities are endless!!
The point is to have fun recognizing and celebrating how much relaxing you are practicing throughout the day!
Relaxation Station
02 Feb 2011 Leave a Comment
Designate a space in your home to be the “Relaxation Station.” This can be a consistent, calming spot where kids and adults alike can go to re-connect with inner peace and establish a calm mind and body. Identify a cozy, out-of-the-way place. Place some comforting pillows, hang a pretty curtain, and include calm, soft lighting. Other possible items to include in the space include:
Calming music, nature sounds, small fountain, rosewater or lavendar water misting bottle, nature pictures, journals and writing utensils for collecting thoughts or drawing experiences, sweet smelling bean bags to put over the eyes, stress balls to squeeze, blankets, and a favorite stuffed animal or two
It is important to establish a consistent space so that the body and mind get accustomed to relaxing in that space. When consistently used over time, the relaxation response will automatically initiate upon entering the space. Spend some time practicing relaxation activities in the space to further strengthen the relaxation response associated with it.
Tension is our Guest
18 Sep 2010 Leave a Comment
in Educator Resources, Family Relaxation, Parenting Resources, Uncategorized
Tension is our guest, we invite it. Relaxation is our nature; we don’t have to invite it. You don’t have to relax, you have just to stop inviting tension, and relaxation begins on its own. In your very core, in every fiber, in every cell of your being, relaxation percolates and assimilates. –Osho
Considering all the banquets I’ve hosted for a multitude of tension guests, I am sitting with the idea that I can simply ask my internal thought secretary to stop issuing that endless stream of invitations. Acceptance, surrender, allowing, letting. . . all these reminders to BE! I pause and remember today. I set the table of my awareness. I throw the parties of my perception. I decide who gets invited! When I remember to sit at the table of rest, relaxation becomes my constant companion. And I realize that relaxation needs no invitation, just quietness of mind to appreciate its constant presence.
Share this concept with your children. Share with them the concept that relaxation is our natural state of being. It is our choice to tense up and resist things that are happening in our world. When we let go and simply pause in our natural state, we can feel peace.
Sometimes we have practiced a lot of stress/tension/over-activity. But when we decide to pay attention to how we are when we quiet down and sit, we realize that we can be just simply relaxed.
Three Stars and a Wish
29 Aug 2010 Leave a Comment
in All Relaxation Activities, Family Relaxation
This is an adapted version of a literary tool used in many schools. It is usually used for editing written work. Children are instructed to find three things that they like about the work and then identify one wish about something they would like to see different or change. This can be applied very easily to one’s day.
Tell your child that he/she is going to be a detective today and go on a very important mission. This is a beautiful mission in which he/she can collect three stars about their day to share a dinner time. The stars can be anything positive he/she would like to share about what they liked, want to celebrate, are grateful for, or want to remember. The wish is for something that didn’t happen in their day or that they would like to do differently tomorrow.
Parents participate as well, modeling the activity and providing opportunity for connection and sharing of the day. This is an excellent bonding activity. Remember that listening and truly being in the moment is a requirement for ultimate heartfelt connection and celebration of the day.
The Family Weather Forecast
22 Aug 2010 Leave a Comment
in Family Relaxation, Parenting Resources
It’s 7:00 am and the local news is pulling up in front of your home. They are arriving to give the daily weather report and the weekly forecast. It is the weather report for your family life. What will they say? Has the weather been stable during the week or is it expected to change suddenly? How are you preparing? What sort of storms have passed through? What has been the severity of the storms?
As parents, we do much to influence the atmosphere of our home. Our language, word choice, and tone of voice can often determine if a tornado is touching down, or a gentle breeze is blowing. Often I have found that I underestimate the power of my choice of thoughts or the words I choose to precipitate in the environment. When I have neglected to monitor my own temperature controls, then I have had the ability to scorch or freeze my family with my interactions. Each day, when I adjust my own thermostat, then I am able to regulate and set my intention for how I will affect the household temperature for the day. It’s really about checking in with one’s own energy to monitor the conditions. With my intention each morning, I decide if I will be a space where my creative sunshine can shine with only the occasional gentle cloud floating by. But, if I forget, my sky has an increased chance for partly cloudy conditions that arrise out of suddent drops in the barometric pressure of fear, doubt, or negative thinking. As parents, we can develop our own daily forecast. We know ourselves and our children well and after much observation, we can usually predict weather changes based on the overall family barometric pressure. As the family meteorologist, we start to keep mental records, noting how often lightning in the form of harsh, angry, or hurtful words is striking. Considering these concepts, there was one point in time when I became to be more aware that I was living my life within a rather unpredictable weather pattern and that my family was in turn feeling that they were at the mercy of Mother’s Nature. As I was writing this, I began to share its contents with my seven-year-old daughter. We were cheerfully playing with the ideas, discussing how often storms come through our family atmosphere. Later that morning, I felt myself becoming tense as we were rushing out the door to school. My daughter, smiling, stated to me, “Careful, Mommy, your lightning is beginning to strike. We have had two strikes already this morning.” That statement immediately pulled me back into the present moment and I felt my awareness centering. I responded, “Thankfully, Maiya, I can sense that a rainbow is just peering through the clouds and I am choosing right now that my sunny day return.” I had just avoided a change in atmosphere by simply becoming aware of my own lightning. Moreover, as I began to use these concepts with my children, we all began to be monitors of the family atmosphere, working together to create a more positive, loving experience.
Rainbow Connections
I have noticed as we have begun to observe our family atmospheres and set our daily intentions, the weather patterns have stabilized over time. No longer do we have as many surprise storms. We have begun to be aware and mindful of one another’s patterns and our entire family atmosphere has become one of cooperation and collaboration in developing a positive, loving space. After a period of intention setting and observation, we have begun to see more rainbows show up in our experience. The sun has been called in time and time again and is beginning to shine on a more regular basis. Our skills as family meteorologists have become more polished and developed, more accurate predictors of troubled weather/emotional patterns and we have beun to plan accordingly. It’s been like dressing in a winter coat for a blustery day instead donning our swimsuit and walking out in the snow. We have learned to dress for the pattern. We will don a winter coat of additional affirmations to pull us through tough storms or we will simply decide to have some personal space rather than continue interacting. My daughters and I have learned to use imaginary umbrellas at school to let the unkind “rain” from other fall around us rather than make us wet and uncomfortable
So, the activity I introduce here is the creation of your personal family weather forecast. Create a board in the house to refer to as strange weather patterns occur. It can be used as a barometer for sudden atmospheric change. Discussions can take place around checking in for the weather predictions and knowing what sort of preparation is necessary depending on the forecast. For example, if Cousin Betty is coming with her three young children for an extended stay, there might be some plans for change. Before long, your family weather channel will be up and running smoothly and you’ll all feel more peaceful having planned for all possible weather patterns.
Recent Comments