Relaxation Practice Log
04 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
Rehearsal is key to mastery. The more we practice something, the more it becomes an integral part of life. If you and your child have the goal of feeling more relaxed and calm, then practice is your key to adopting relaxation practice and feelings as automatic response patterns in life. With our busy schedules, it is often challenging to add anything more, especially when the practice may or may not be out of the comfort zone. If your and your child’s life has been on running on high, then slowing down might not feel so comfortable when you first get started. Practice is your key. One way to begin integrating the daily practice of relaxation techniques into your life, is to make a Relaxation Practice Log. This log can serve as your checklist to make sure that daily attention and focus are directed at your goal of feeling more relaxed. It can also serve as a record and cause for celebration after a week of practiced relaxation activities. I have included a downloadable pdf here to get you started. It contains activities from this site, but feel free to create your own log, including your favorite relaxation techniques. Happy relaxation practice!!!!!
Five Ideas For Creating Peaceful Mornings Before School
02 Feb 2012 6 Comments
How the morning flows has great impact on the rest of the day. When we are able to create peaceful, graceful mornings, we are better able to create peaceful fulfilling days, or at least better adept to weather any stress that might appear in the day ahead. The more peaceful the time at home, the better prepared the child is for learning at school. Here are some ideas to consider as you begin your day:
1. Set the Stage
Create a relaxing environment for the morning routine. Keep the lights low, sounds to a minimum. Play music that you love. I play energizing, dance music in the bathroom while my daughters and I shower and get ready. We sing and jive, getting a jump start on feeling good. However, I like to wake up to gentle, relaxing music, easing my way into the day with quiet time. I have downloaded some of my favorite meditation music on my iphone and play it while I am waking up and waking up my daughters.
2. Gentle Beginnings
Wake up your child with a soft greeting such as “Good morning, love.” Give a back rub or a gentle massage or snuggle for one minute with your child before getting out of bed. Remember to note how your child likes to wake up. You can ask him if he would like to snuggle or not. Start the day with gentle choices. Pay attention to your voice volume and rhythm.
3. Even Pace
Avoiding the morning rush is key to staying calm and promoting feelings of peace. Make sure any advance preparation, such as laying out of clothes or packing lunches, happens the night before to avoid rush during the basic morning routine.
I have a friend, a single dad, who was having trouble getting his boys to stay on task while getting ready for school. He noticed that he was repeating over and over what they needed to do and that somehow they had learned to tune him out. We developed a checklist of morning routine activity steps and engaged the boys in picking a fun ringtone on the phone to signal the end of basic tasks. There was a duck quack for the end of teeth brushing, a chime for the completion of getting dressed, a horn honking for time to get in the car. That way both my friend and his boys didn’t have the stress of his repetitive reminders to stay on task and the boys felt a sense of relaxing into self-direction and knowing clear expectations regarding time.
4. Basic Needs
Getting those basic needs of affection and nutrition met are essential ingredients for the creation of peaceful mornings. Find ways to squeeze in a hug or two as you are getting ready for school. If your child is open to it, particularly for younger children, hold hands on the way to the car or into the school. Remember that touch can be very relaxing when it honors and considers how the recipient wants to receive it. Ask first, but offer moments for hugs, cuddling, and pausing to connect with your child, listening and tuning into the present moment. Make sure there is adequate time to spend on breakfast. Schedule time to sit down and finish the meal. When our basic needs are met, we feel relaxed and at ease. Pay attention to what those needs are for your child, meet those needs, and notice how her body and mind relaxes as a result.
5. Set Your Mind To It
Adding two minutes to the morning to talk with your child about how he or she thinks about the day ahead makes all the difference in how the day will unfold. Take two minutes to create a vision of the day. Ask your child what he or she wants to experience, wants to happen. State it in present tense and in the affirmative. For example, I am feeling calm and relaxed as I take my spelling test. I remember just what I need to know. I stay focused during class and remember to take a mental break when I need to. I have fun playing tetherball with my friends at recess. Notice that it is stated in the present tense and explains the parts of her day as she wishes them to happen, stating them as if they are happening in that way.
Sing a couple of affirmations in the car on the way to school or daycare. Have fun making up a fun or crazy tune to the words “I am beautiful and I am a wonderful friend.” “I am strong and full of courage.”
Have a beautiful peaceful day!!!
I See You, I Hear You, I Love You
22 Jan 2012 1 Comment
Never underestimate the relaxing power of sending this message to your child: I see you, I hear you, I love you. Connection is a cornerstone of relaxation. When we feel connected and loved, our bodies and minds naturally relax and it is much easier to let go of worry, tension and angst. This message can be communicated through the eyes, through touch, and through mindful activity. Here are some ideas for practicing this powerful message:
Eyes– Pause for a moment through out the day and gaze with love while looking at your child. Set the intention to sense beyond any behavior or activity that is going on and really see him for who he is. Notice the beautiful, innocence of his being. It might help to think back to the day he was born and connect with the beautiful baby that he was. If you are having a challenging moment, think of a previous time of connection and feel into that love you felt in that moment. Imagine that love is pouring out of your eyes toward your child. Smile with your eyes. Send the message of total acceptance in the moment, regardless of external circumstances. He will feel the energy and it will register even if it is not immediately apparent.
Touch–Give your child a simple back massage, foot massage or arm/hand massage. Simply taking your child’s hand during the day and pausing for a moment to hold it. Gently tug each finger and massage the palm of the hand, focusing on the crease of the palm that runs from the index finger past the thumb to the base of the palm. Combine it with the eye activity for a wonderful moment of connection.
Mindful Activity–Find an activity in which you and your child are able to connect. It can be a board game, an art activity, reading a book together, walking in nature, cleaning the kitchen sink, but something in which you are genuinely interacting with your child. Try to avoid any electronics for this activity. While you are participating with your child, really pull your focus into the moment and place all of your attention on your child and what you are completing together. Send the message “I hear you” by paraphrasing back to him what you hear him saying. Remember that the message of “I hear you” is best communicate by repetition than by trying to offer a solution or judging what he is saying (i.e. saying it is good or bad). Activate that space of total acceptance and watch the potential impact it has to relax you and your child.
These messages of I see you, I hear you and I love you, have the power to calm the central nervous system. The more you really connect and practice total acceptance, the more both you and your child will feel peace and a sense of calm.
Body Rock
30 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
in All Relaxation Activities, Bedtime Relaxation Activities, Family Relaxation, One Minute Relaxers, Relaxing/Balancing the Body, Uncategorized
Body rock involves gently rocking the body back and forth to calm the nervous system. Have your child lie flat on the floor. Use a yoga mat or lie on a soft carpet for increased comfort. Don’t use a pillow to obstruct air flow or to place the neck in an unnatural position. Play soft music, dim the lights and use aromatherapy to prepare the environment for relaxation. Begin by inviting your child to take a couple of deep breaths. Tell your child to simply allow his body to melt into the floor and prepare him that you are going to gently rock his body back and forth to calm down his muscles and nerves. Share with him that the more he can be like a rag doll and let go, allow his body to relax, the more powerful body rock will be. Then gently begin to lightly rock his body back and forth, alternating sides. First give a gentle push on the left and respond with a gentle push on the right. Use very gentle touch, as light as using one finger to move. Apply a relaxed, gentle, steady rhythm. Imagine that your hands are carrying on a very sweet relaxation conversation. As one hand moves on one side, the other gently responds. Allow the body weight to help carry the momentum of the rock back and forth. Move slowly up and down the legs and then to the torso, gently pushing on each arm. Allow the head to remain relaxed and lying on the floor. Be as gentle as possible, and increase in lightness of touch as you continue. As time passes, you will notice the body begin to let go and relax more and more, as evidenced by its effortless motions. Simply allow it to rock, back and forth, back and forth. Check in with your child to make sure he is doing okay or to ask if he needs anything. Complete this for a couple minutes the first time and begin to increase the amount of time spent rocking as your child adjusts to it. Place a blanket over your child for added security and warmth to support further relaxation. He might fall asleep, this is a natural response. If not, allow him to rest in silence for a few minutes when you are finished to allow him to integrate the experience and to become fully aware of the relaxed sensations.
At a later time, discuss with your child how his body felt before, during and after the body rock experience.
Calm Space Detective
28 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
Sometimes the world seems to move very fast! Our children’s senses are inundated with stimuli. This can cause increased anxiety and stressful feelings or tension. I have helped many children to begin to shift their focus from the bustling events around them to noticing calm spaces by becoming a “Calm Space Detective.” Discuss with your child today how you are going to search all day long for clues to find spaces that are calm. Have a conversation about what a calm space might look like, sound or feel like. Give them some examples. Pause for a moment and look around the room and see where there are spaces of calm. Ask your child questions. Is the TV show airing in the corner a calm space? If not, then where is? Is the corner of the couch where pillows are piled a calm space? Is your bedroom a calm space? Is the line at the grocery store a calm space? Is riding in the car to your music lesson a calm space? How about the blade of grass over there? Is that a calm space?
Make it fun! Give your child a special notebook to record calm space tally marks when calm spaces are noticed. Invite your child to count the calm spaces as he notices them. He might prefer to draw them instead. See how many calm spaces you can find in 10 minutes, or during a special time of day such as dinner preparation or before bedtime. Record the clues that suggest that denote a calm space, (for example, perhaps it is quiet there, sounds like silence, it is easy to focus there, it feels peaceful or there isn’t any movement/activity, etc. . .). Tell your child that he/she can make a report at the end of the day to the Chief of Calm at the Calm station. I like to use a hand-held recorder in order to interview the “Calm Space Detective” formally as if he or she were making a final report on their daily investigation. Make a “Calm Space Detective” badge or wear a special “Calm Space Detective” hat. Have fun and be creative.
By noticing where calm spaces exist, your child will begin to differentiate the difference between calm/peaceful/relaxed feelings and locations and busyness/tension/distractions. This is a fundamental awareness skill in developing the ability to relax the body and mind. In addition, studies have shown that by simply focusing our attention on calm places, our bodies begin to experience feelings of calm and relaxation. People can experience increased feelings of calm and relaxation simply by watching calm and/or relaxed people, events or places.
Additional ideas: cut out pictures of calm places from magazines and glue them in the special notebook, look at nature books together, listen to calming music, create a special calm space of the day and practice a relaxation activity there, share your detective report with the whole family and discuss the favorite “calm space” of the day or a special “calm space” you would like to create.
Cave Time
16 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
in All Relaxation Activities, Family Relaxation, Uncategorized
Remember when you were a kid how fun it was to build a fort? I have had a fort in my living room since last weekend’s sleep over. ”It’s so much fun, Mom! Can’t I just sleep in here one more night? Then I will move it, I promise!”, my nine-year-old daughter reassures me. And, even though my living room has been taken over by millions of stuffed animals and there is a sheet suspended from the banisters using headbands, scarves, hair ties, duct tape, and my brand new sheets as building materials, I have to admit it is cozy and relaxing. Since its construction, she sleeps there. She reads there. She creates art there. She relaxes there.
When kids, or adults too, are feeling stressed, often the mind is busy at work. It is working overtime and lots of thinking often doesn’t promote feelings of relaxation or peace. During times of stress our focus gets distracted and our energy is very scattered. It is useful to find ways to bring our focus inward and to call our energy back to ourselves. One way to accomplish this is by getting into smaller, enclosed spaces where the focus and energy are more easily contained. Indoor forts or caves can do just that. It is very relaxing to contain our energy in cozy, defined places.
So, I encourage you to construct your very own cave or fort for relaxing. As you head into the holiday season this year, find a cozy space in your house and construct your relaxation cave. Put it on your holiday “to do” list to design some stress-free spaces in your home specifically for relaxation. Purposefully design your relaxation space with close quarters so that you amplify the cozy factor. It can be as easy or complex as you and your child decide to make it. Simple includes throwing a blanket over a table. Complex requires some additional architectural trial and error. Both can be very rewarding.
Once you have your relaxation cave built, put some fluffy pillows, stuffed animals, soft blankets inside. Hang some pretty stars from the top and lie down on your back with your child and just breathe. Do some simple counting breaths where you count to five on the inhale and count to five on the exhale. Set aside some moments to just breathe and let the world outside the cave simply pass on by for a few minutes. Melt into the blankets. Let go. Fully surrender into the moment and allow yourself to pay attention to the feelings that arise while you are simply lying there. It can serve as your “do nothing” space or it can serve as your space where you only practice relaxing activities. Read gentle stories with sweet themes. Tell a bedtime story, but make sure that the theme is gentle and soothing. Designate it as a place where only soft voices, whispers or silence can visit. Do some gentle stretches such as child’s pose (http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/475), or butterfly pose (http://www.americanyogaacademy.com/PDFs/ButterflyPose.pdf).
So, after you have established your relaxation cave, practice using it when tension arrives. When you see your child struggling to manage her energy or feeling visibly tense, suggest a little cave time and crawl in along side her.
Let your imagination run wild in the creation of your family cave. If you are looking for some additional ideas, here’s a site I found that has stellar ideas:
http://wondertime.go.com/life-at-home/article/indoor-kid-forts.html
Pencil Sqeeze–Eraser Squoosh: Progressive Relaxation At Your Desk
03 Nov 2011 2 Comments
in All Relaxation Activities, Educator Resources, One Minute Relaxers, Uncategorized
Tense/relax protocols come from progressive relaxation techniques in which the muscles are alternately tensed and relaxed in order to promote a state of mental and physical relaxation. The mental part of progressive relaxation involves directing attention to the feeling of muscles as they tense and then noticing how the muscles feel as the tension is released and the muscles are asked to let go and relax. The physical component involves the actual tensing and relaxing of the muscles themselves.
Tense/relax techniques are easy to do anywhere and fit seamlessly into any routine or daily activity. That is why they are perfect for desk relaxation in the classroom. Try the following tense/relax routine any time you want to have a short one-minute relaxer prior to initiating seat work.
- Tell your students that you are going to practice the “Pencil Squeeze” in order to relax and get your minds and bodies ready for the task at hand.
- Have them hold a pencil in each hand and ask them to squeeze it very very tight and hold until you tell them to release it. Discuss what they notice.
- Now have them place the pencils on their desk and tell them that you are going to practice the activity with imaginary pencils. Ready?
- Ok, now gently close your eyes and imagine that you are holding a pencil in each hand. Squeeze the pencil very very tight and hold as I quietly count to 10. After counting to 10, tell the students to release the pencils and allow your hands to rest in your lap or on your desk. Feel the warm, tingling feeling in your hands as you allow them to melt right there into the desk, very heavy, very relaxed. Count slowly to 20.
- When you are ready you can open your eyes and know you are focused and ready to get to work!
Variation: Repeat the above sequence with an eraser and call it the Eraser Squoosh.
Powerful Noses–Engaging the Sense of Smell to Relax
11 Aug 2011 Leave a Comment
The other night my daughter was struggling to go to sleep. I got out the aromatherapy diffuser and put a few drops of “Peace and Calming” by Young Living Oils, (http://www.youngliving.com/essential-oil-blends/Peace-And-Calming). I immediately felt as if I was breathing in a cloud of comfort and deep peace. Soon my entire body felt as if it was letting go, surrendering into a deeper and deeper peaceful state. As my daughter drifted into dreamland, I considered how important all of our senses are in the relaxation process. As we re-train our bodies in experiencing the natural state of relaxation, it is important to include all of the senses in the practice. Wholeness and integration are key principles to the experience of a deep mind and body relaxation state. I highly recommend experimenting with this gentle essential oil blend to see if it is a fit for you and your family’s individualized relaxation toolbox.
Donut Hole or Donut?
24 Jun 2011 1 Comment
My daughters and I were driving to camp this morning. My youngest daughter was lamenting the fact that certain friends couldn’t attend her birthday party. As she continued to complain, a thought popped into my head. I said, ”Hey Maddie, are you focused on the hole or the donut?” The randomness of the question interrupted her thoughts for a moment and she replied, “Um, the hole I think.” I nodded and kept silent, allowing her to consider it for a second. Then I said, “I really like to keep my attention on the donut rather than the hole. When I focus on the hole, I stay hungry for the yummy donut and never get filled. There are a lot of “donuts” about your party, what are some of them?”
The rest of the conversation turned to positives about the party, such as who was coming, the decorations, the film festival we were preparing, and the fun food.
I’m gluten and sugar free so I don’t actually eat donuts, however I enjoy imagining them. I love to fill my imagination with all kinds: cream filled, coconut dusted, chocolate coated, long johns, cake, sprinkle topped, etc. What I have realized is that when I focus on the donut hole (and I don’t mean the little powder sugared donut balls, but the actual hole), then I am missing the entire rest of the donut. The same goes for my thoughts. When I am focused on what I don’t have or getting sucked into a hole of “not enough”, I feel hungry for more, hungry for feeling good, hungry for feeling inspired and fulfilled. When I shift my attention to the donut itself, and all the beautiful yumminess of life, I feel fulfilled, full and happy. It is my choice where I put my attention, both the donut hole and the donut exist depending on how I imagine it.
My daughter got it. I encouraged her and her sister to look for the “donut opportunities” today at camp. They left discussing possible donut thoughts.
Activity:
You and your child can use the simple question, “Donut hole or donut?” as a reminder in times of complaining or focusing on lack in order to shift back into positive thoughts that feel good.
Encourage your child to look for donut thoughts. Ask each other if you can share donut hole thoughts and donut thoughts at the end of the day. Explain to your child that a donut hole thought is one that doesn’t feel good or that is about something missing or not being enough. Explain further that a donut thought is a yummy, feel good thought. Draw the connection between focusing on the hole and feeling yucky and focusing on the donut and feeling good. Practice coming up with as many donut thoughts as possible. You can even draw them out at the end of the day and place them on a paper plate as reminder donuts for tomorrow. Collect as many yummy thoughts as you can!
The RELAX Box
22 Jun 2011 3 Comments
Design a RELAX Box with your child for your family. Have your child decorate a box with relaxing words or pictures. Create a series of index cards that include instructions for your favorite relaxation activities, short “feel good” stories, pictures of things you love, pictures of people you love, pictures of fun memories, and words or phrases that you like to think about. As you are creating the cards, you can practice the activities! Place all of these cards in a box and take turns drawing one out during family circle time or during times you want to relax. Place it in your Relaxation Station (http://wp.me/p11MDD-2j), and use it to generate discussion or to initiate your relaxation practice during your daily circle time.
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