Never underestimate the relaxing power of sending this message to your child: I see you, I hear you, I love you. Connection is a cornerstone of relaxation. When we feel connected and loved, our bodies and minds naturally relax and it is much easier to let go of worry, tension and angst. This message can be communicated through the eyes, through touch, and through mindful activity. Here are some ideas for practicing this powerful message:
Eyes– Pause for a moment through out the day and gaze with love while looking at your child. Set the intention to sense beyond any behavior or activity that is going on and really see him for who he is. Notice the beautiful, innocence of his being. It might help to think back to the day he was born and connect with the beautiful baby that he was. If you are having a challenging moment, think of a previous time of connection and feel into that love you felt in that moment. Imagine that love is pouring out of your eyes toward your child. Smile with your eyes. Send the message of total acceptance in the moment, regardless of external circumstances. He will feel the energy and it will register even if it is not immediately apparent.
Touch–Give your child a simple back massage, foot massage or arm/hand massage. Simply taking your child’s hand during the day and pausing for a moment to hold it. Gently tug each finger and massage the palm of the hand, focusing on the crease of the palm that runs from the index finger past the thumb to the base of the palm. Combine it with the eye activity for a wonderful moment of connection.
Mindful Activity–Find an activity in which you and your child are able to connect. It can be a board game, an art activity, reading a book together, walking in nature, cleaning the kitchen sink, but something in which you are genuinely interacting with your child. Try to avoid any electronics for this activity. While you are participating with your child, really pull your focus into the moment and place all of your attention on your child and what you are completing together. Send the message “I hear you” by paraphrasing back to him what you hear him saying. Remember that the message of “I hear you” is best communicate by repetition than by trying to offer a solution or judging what he is saying (i.e. saying it is good or bad). Activate that space of total acceptance and watch the potential impact it has to relax you and your child.
These messages of I see you, I hear you and I love you, have the power to calm the central nervous system. The more you really connect and practice total acceptance, the more both you and your child will feel peace and a sense of calm.